Sorry

So the three “lovable oafs” on popular children’s tv show Top Gear have once again caused controversy with yet another one of their “edgy jibes” (direct quote from the bbc website that last bit)

This time it wasn’t whore killing lorry drivers or a razor sharp bit of word play on the Ferrari Speciale (needs) No this time they went too far, this time they portrayed Mexicans …. they portrayed Mexicans … as being Lazy and Feckless!

Next week chief imbecile Jezza “the ledge” Clarkson will imply that Scottish people don’t like spending money unless it is on deep fried pizzas.

I’m not defending Top Gear, a show that if it dumbed down anymore would be offensive to mongels.

A show that recently won “best factual programme” at the National Television Awards, despite it being scripted and set up to within an inch if its life.

But then again this is an awards ceremony where soap operas get declared dramas and not “nonsensical slices of abject misery”, so we’ll ignore that as well.

No this is (sort of) about public apologies and how shallow and pointless they are.

Whenever I see some politician, who has invariably been caught knuckle deep in a rent-boy, stood outside the gates to his fucking huge house, surrounded by his “loving” family saying how “sorry” he is and how “ashamed” he is at his “moment of weakness” I am always reminded of being forced to say sorry to my sister as a kid, mother fucker is just sorry he got caught.

We will all have been there as a child, you will have broken something or slapped your sibling for breaking your awesome lego creation, and in comes the angry parent (there is always one angry parent and one more laid back “leave them to it” parent)  demanding you to be sorry

“What do you say?”

Normally answered with a mumbled sorry, tucked inbetween sobs or delivered through gritted teeth when you knew that really they fucking deserved the slap/bite/kick in the shins.

You can’t make someone be sorry, no matter how many times you write to ofcom (an exercise in futility if there ever was one) No matter how “upset” Mp’ get or how many inquiries they demand (despite not having seen the show to start with)

Or if you are of an “Eastern persuasion” no matter how many effigies and flags you burn.

The person at the head of all this empty hate probably still thinks what they said was pretty fucking funny, I know I would

As an aside I would love to move to somewhere in the Middle East and open a discount Flag shop, have you never pondered where the baying mobs suddenly get obscure flags from?

Those mother fuckers must be shit hot at geography and have a frankly enviable passion about current affairs.

I honestly don’t care if some dude on the other side of the world makes a slur against the British, actually I can’t think of any situation where I would be wound up enough to fashion a life size model of someone and then go out and burn it publically.

And a flag is just a bit of material, if anything the more St. Georges flags that get burnt the less there are for pikeys to hang out of their windows.

This can only be a good thing.

I just don’t get patriotism, I don’t understand the concept of being proud of where you are born and surely that is down to fate and/or luck?

The Six Nations kicks off tonight and England are playing Wales, now I would like England to win because they can play amazing rugby from time to time, but so can the Welsh.

I want the team who plays the best to win

Just as long as we beat the French, the fucking cheese eating surrender monkeys that they are